He had one of those small greek statue penises
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
