I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
