It's Friday. Sex?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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