Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
