Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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