My nipple is on Facebook.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
