i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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