The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
