Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
