after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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