fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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