My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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