i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
