I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
