its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
