im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
