Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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