Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize