she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
organizing the empties. That sober.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
