Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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