i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
