We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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