guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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