good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
