would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
