absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Come on in and take your pants off
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