RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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