She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
