I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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