He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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