i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
