Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
