we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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