I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
