i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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