I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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