While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
