okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
