cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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