dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
