but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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