You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
