Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
