that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Vodka?
Forever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
