you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
