He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
