think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
