I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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