what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
