At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have demons in me.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
