he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
