are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
